I see the relationship between me and my client (also known as “the therapeutic relationship”) as the most important factor in whether therapy is helpful. When I meet with clients, my goal is for them to feel safe, accepted, and heard during our sessions. I know I would not want to open up to someone who made me feel judged, and I don’t expect clients to be okay with being judged either. I tell my clients that in the therapeutic relationship, just as in any other kind of relationship, misunderstandings, miscommunications, and disagreements can happen. I encourage my clients to share with me, to the degree that they are comfortable doing so, feedback they have about our work together, such as if I said something that bothered them, if they don’t think what we are doing is helping them, or if they want to work on something else instead. I try to be open to this feedback and be authentic with my clients in return.
Another key component of therapy is collaboration between me and my clients. Both my client and I bring valuable information and resources into our work. Rather than me calling all of the shots, we work together as a team. Each client knows more about themselves than I ever could. I enjoy contributing knowledge I have gained through my training and experience with clients, but human beings are complex, and there is no “one size fits all” approach to therapy. As I said when referring to the therapeutic relationship, feedback and input from my client is valuable in allowing us to make needed adjustment to make sure our therapy is “working.”
While therapy is often thought to be only focused on “what’s wrong with me,” each person has strengths that have gotten them this far in life. Exploring these strengths and incorporating these strengths into our therapy is important: these strengths are useful in working through whatever challenges lead that person to seek professional help.